In’t Aepjen - Amsterdam
Wednesday night in Amsterdam, and a skip through the red-light district. An interesting place, not what I expected. Clean streets and beautiful people are nestled up against the canals. Scantily clad women in windows trying to entice you in, is both commonplace and pornographic. It gives the place a certain feel, strangeness but safety. On the other side of the canal, by the docks, is the bar I’m looking for.
I pass by the unassuming black exterior without noticing at first. I back track to my destination and enter through the black wooden door. Once inside, the place is shadowy and bathed in candlelight and I’m transported into a hidden wonder, a place full of elegant artwork and interesting history. Antique ceramic jugs sit in the window and massive ancient spherical bottles of spirits labeled Brandij and Loyaal, line the upper shelves. The woodwork is incredible, with scrollwork of leaves and flowers embedded in the walls with a square bar of dark wood and shiny brass nestled in the back against the corner.
Just inside the entrance is an imposing wooden statue of three monkeys hanging from a tree, a throwback to the pubs fascinating story, but I’ll get to that soon. First, I need to get myself a beer. I take a seat on one of the short stools at the bar and am greeted by a giant bald bartender with blazing blue eyes. He’s wearing a spotless white pressed shirt and scrubbing glassware in a sudsy sink. One thing I noticed about the bars in the Netherlands is that they don’t have automatic glasswashers. All the glasses are washed by hand with vigorous intensity and Dutch efficiency.
I order the Aepjen house ale, a delectable 8% dark amber dubbel advertised by a chimp in a fedora and take further stock of my surroundings. The ubiquitous them of apes is quickly apparent, from the stuffed marmoset on the shelf, to the collection of monkey paintings and posters on the walls. There’s also a glass display case full of nautical instruments lit up against the east wall. To understand the why we’re going to have to go back a bit in time.
During the age of colonization, the European powers used their shipbuilding abilities and navigational knowledge to begin exploring the earth on a global scale for the first time. It was an age of wonder and excitement, while at the same time an era of exploitation and straight up stealing. Explorers went all over the world and brought back with them whatever they could find to sell at home, including new flavours and fruits to make liquor out of.
For nearly 500 years there has been a tavern on this spot serving grub and libations to locals and travellers alike. And during those five centuries, the Dutch would be great travellers, going all across the world from South Africa, to Indonesia, in search of profits and adventure. For such a small nation they set up a wide-ranging empire, competing with Britain and France, to become one of the world’s leading colonial powers. Led by the Dutch East Indies Trading Company, they sent their ships out to explore the wild world and bring back whatever spoils they could get their hands on, spice, gold, textiles and ideas.
Amsterdam became a center for finance and culture, bringing in vast amounts of wealth acquired by international trade and exploitation. Merchants built elegant buildings to commemorate their success, and invested in art and science, facilitating great minds like Vincent Van Gogh and M.C. Escher. But at the heart of the whole process were the sailors, the common men tasked with keeping the ships sailing, and the bounty coming in. They were out to sea for months at a time and returned to port with a pocketful of gold and a heart full of pent up energy.
When a sailor hits port, he’s gonna drink. Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course it does. And so, for hundreds of years, Dutch sailors found themselves comfort after a long journey at “In’t Aepjen”, spending their newly acquired Dutch Guilders on fresh pints of ale. And when the Guilders ran out would they stop drinking?
Not if they had a particularly interesting pet at their side.
During colonialization, the Dutch people had a fascination with animals from across the world. They would bring back exotic species to sell to private collectors and to keep them as pets. Monkey’s were of particular interest since they were relatively easy to train, cute, and intelligent.
Legend has it, that the original landlord of this bar had a fascination with the animals. He loved the little creatures and decided to collect as many as he could. When a sailor was down on his luck and had run out of coin, the owner would trade him a pint of ale and a bed for the night, in exchange for the sailor’s pet monkey. Pretty soon the bar was filled with the little guys causing a ruckus and general hijinks. You can imagine the little buggers swinging from the rafters and taking big gulps of beer out of the cups with their bare hands to the raucous laughter of some drunken sailors. I’m picturing inebriated monkeys passed out on stools, people getting their hats and wallets stolen, and unintelligible arguments, between two stubborn primates.
Before long the place was overrun with them, and it would’ve been quite an interesting sight. Not the most hygienic though. Eventually the patrons began to complain about all the fleas and said that the monkeys would have to go. (Not to mention to destructive wrath of Big Bertha the chimpanzee, when you tried to take away her Brandij Fizz.)
Thankfully there were others with a fascination for our simian relatives. A Dutch nobleman by the name of Gerard Westerman heard that the monkeys from the monkey pub needed a home and had just the place to put them. He established a caged area in the garden of his estate and began to collect apes and other exotic animals to add to his collection.
Over time the collection grew and his garden was expanded and opened to the public. Nowadays it is known as the Amsterdam Artis Zoo, a beautiful enclosure in the east of the city, full of all sorts of animals and curiosities from around the world.
This has to be one of my favourite bars, so far. It has a truly old feel and the beer and bartender were both delightfully flavourful.
I drain the last of my Aepjen amber ale, and head back out into the falling night, and red lights.